Skip to main content

Unlocking The Doorway to Happiness

When making a huge lifestyle change you begin to notice details about yourself you may never have before. The further along you go on your journey, the more unsettling or uncomfortable thoughts will come into focus. From my research on this topic, I see that this is a necessary part of the process, normal, and even healthy for you. This week I had a major eye-opening discovery about myself and it caught me completely off guard.

I have never considered myself a judgemental person. In my book, you choose how you want to live your life and as long as its not hurting me, yourself, or anyone for that matter I say embrace your decisions. I will gladly support you in changing jobs, getting married, trying a new way of dressing because at my core I believe we are all individuals who are uniquely different with so many different ideas to share. That's what makes living everyday so much fun; if we were all the same life would be pretty boring.

Well, I woke up a bit of a crank pot Tuesday morning. I really wasn't sure what was bothering me but figured it was nothing a little yoga practice couldn't fix. I began my practice and for the life of me could not focus on my mantra (joy). My mind kept wandering, so I did what the meditation experts say and acknowledged the unsettling negative thoughts coming in and then reset my focus to my mantra. I must have done this at least once a minute for my entire practice. Instead of feeling amazing after yoga I still felt pretty crappy. I made breakfast and tea and worked to make sure my negative energy wouldn't disrupt or ruin Anthony's mood for the day. It's no fun to have 2 cranky people in the same space.

A little while later Anthony asked me to help him with a few things (pretty normal things, nothing out of the ordinary) and I found myself agitated, angry, and furious for no reason. Heating up a cup of soup should not set someone off! I recognized I needed a little alone time and excused myself to some journal time.

What came out of that journaling session rocked my world. My subconscious has been judging those I love for not being on the exact same journey as I am. I realized my subconscious has been quietly saying, "Your way is the best and everyone should be doing what you do otherwise they are ignorant." This made me so upset. How could I have such cruel thoughts about those closest to me and not recognize that they are all in a unique place of their own journey and live such beautiful lives? I wasn't even aware I was doing it, how could that have happened?

What I'm learning is that the issues at the root of our unhappiness and health will only surface when all the peripheral issues are out of the way. These deep-seeded roots hide underneath everything so that you can't find them and they can continue to make you feel bad. Now that I've cleared away most of it's hiding places, these poisonous roots are beginning to show because there is nowhere left to hide. I've unlocked it's secret door and am ready to fight for my happiness.

This felt like such a monumental discovery this week. Now that I'm aware of it, I am consciously being present in every moment; I don't want to give my subconscious the opportunity to hurt those I love or myself. It takes a little adjusting but I feel like I'm finally starting to let an old demon go. I no longer need my subconscious going into defense mode because I'm in a safe, loving space.

What discoveries have you made about yourself this week?

Enjoy every moment in your day!


Popular posts from this blog

My Birth Story

On December 1, 2018 at 12:06pm Julia Patricia entered the world. But her story doesn't begin there. This birth went nothing like I had expected and while I have not regrets or disappointments, to say I wasn't (and still am not) stressed and emotional about it would be an understatement.

When I found out I was pregnant in early March, I was so excited and a little bit nervous at the same time. I was excited that we had been able to get pregnant without any complications and very quickly too. I had been diagnosed with mild PCOS a few years earlier and had spent most of my teens and twenties with menstrual issues and often wondered if I would ever be able to get pregnant. I know that following the Body Ecology Diet, working with functional doctors, seeing my chiropractor  for nutritional therapy, and going to acupuncture made a huge difference going into this process. Getting my health back definitely is something I'm grateful for and what I attribute my pregnancy success too…

Diving Into Motherhood

The first 2 weeks of Julia's life were a lesson in patience, energy, and making a lot of medical decisions. I'm not going to lie, it was a mentally and physically exhausting time and while I know there are many kids out there who have way worse going on, I was not expecting to have to make decisions about surgical procedures and ultrasounds for my new born child so quickly. As someone who likes order, structure, and control, this was a huge transition for me.

As you can read in my birth story, Julia was in the NICU for the first 3 days of her life. I had spiked a fever while pushing and she was born with a fever, covered in meconium, and was not breathing. She was hooked up to antibiotics and fluids via IV to make sure she was getting the nutrition she needed. At around 10pm on the day she was born the neonatologist gave us the ok to start breastfeeding her. She had a lot of trouble latching and the nurses just kept trying to shove my boob in her mouth (to put it bluntly). The…

The Truth About My Journey With The Body Ecology Diet

It's been a really long time since I've posted here. Some of it was because life's been very busy. A lot of it has been because I've been afraid. I'm afraid of disappointing you, my tried and true readers. I've received so many wonderful messages over the last 3 years since starting the Body Ecology Diet that I'm an inspiration and that my blog has helped you to stay on track and commit to your health. I was afraid that if I wrote that I've been struggling lately that you would be disappointed. I haven't abandoned my beliefs about the wonders of this lifestyle at all. In fact I believe in it 100%. After my wedding 2 1/2 months ago, I had a lot of emotional baggage come up. I'm so happy in my marriage and have the best husband in the world but I no longer have the distraction of wedding planning to keep me distracted from really dealing with my issues; issues that go beyond food. You see Body Ecology taught me that this whole adventure is a mind/…