Skip to main content

Roller Coasters of Emotion: Taking a Time Out

Hello readers! It's been 2 weeks since I've last blogged. I've been taking both mental and physical vacations the last couple of weeks. This journey on The Body Ecology Diet is leading me to places I never thought I would go. The journey is not just about healing me physically; it's about healing me mentally too. Now that all the distractions I used to use as coping mechanisms are out of the picture, I'm dealing with some demons I've been holding onto for a long time.  Issues I thought I was over have resurfaced and I've realized that I never dealt with them, I've only pushed and shoved them down so deep I hid them temporarily.

Change is a strange thing. You have some really high moments coupled with some really low ones. It's a crazy dance that has no "typical" rhythm or pattern. Each journey is unique and different. I'll admit these last couple of weeks have not been my highest points. In fact I've had more low moments than I care to say. I feel lucky that I was prepared for the ride this time; I've been taking a moment every day to stop, evaluate and truly see what is going on. It's been an eye-opening experience. My biggest discovery has been that despite my successes, I believe that I don't deserve good things because ultimately I'm not good enough. (Just writing that sentence for you all to read is scary!) At the root of all my insecurities is a little voice that loves to tell me I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I work, how thin I am, how much money I make, or how much success I encounter. I'm not going to lie, that realization made me both unbelievably sad/ashamed and yet relieved at the same time. I was lucky enough to have an incredibly kind friend (more like sister) with me when I made that discovery audible and for the first time in a long time I felt like I could tackle this feeling. I wasn't alone and I felt ready for the change.

So how is it going now? Well I just came home from a wonderful vacation visiting Mary, Frank and their little baby boy Christopher in Pittsburgh. I found myself having a hard time relaxing at times, but if I could take a few moments to meditate or journal about it, I was able to overcome obsessing about it. (Obsessive thoughts are pretty commonplace for me and keep me in a state of anxiousness.) We had a great time swimming, going to Rib Fest, enjoying each other's company, and of course playing with the baby! I've been journaling everyday for the last 2 weeks so that I can track my progress, deal with the insecurities head on, and have some me time. I'm looking into meditation practices and have started doing some of my own to control the obsessive thoughts that go along with my insecurities. I'm re-evaluating my relationships and seeing where I need to pull back or spend more time. I'm nowhere near magically healed, but I feel I'm starting to get a grip on my mental well-being. I intend to keep up my yoga/dance practices and put my energies into projects that inspire me, not drain me emotionally. I need to communicate better. Most of all I'm realizing I need to set better boundaries in most areas of my life; I cannot be pulled in 50 directions 24/7 and lead a healthy life. It doesn't matter how well I eat; if I can't mentally be happy I will never find perfect health.

Now some of you may be wondering, are you chronically sick or have a life-threatening disease? The answer is no, but if feeling chronically tired, anxious, foggy, having consistent headaches, not being able to breathe without popping a pill, and having a bloated upset stomach is normal then we as a society need to change. I've decided to no longer settle for a mediocre life experience and I hope my story can inspire you to change as well. I truly believe that we all deserve to feel happy and healthy 24/7 and should not settle for just feeling OK. I dedicated 2013 on New Years day to being the year of my best self yet and I have fought hard for this journey. I was open and ready for major changes and I'm glad to say I don't want to go back. I've created an inspiration board for myself and here are some of the images/sayings that keep me going. I hope they can inspire you as well.




Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and please feel free to share your own stories. Have a wonderful holiday weekend and enjoy yourself!

Forgiveness is FREEDOM. Freedom is LIMITLESS. ~Yogi Tea

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Birth Story

On December 1, 2018 at 12:06pm Julia Patricia entered the world. But her story doesn't begin there. This birth went nothing like I had expected and while I have not regrets or disappointments, to say I wasn't (and still am not) stressed and emotional about it would be an understatement.

When I found out I was pregnant in early March, I was so excited and a little bit nervous at the same time. I was excited that we had been able to get pregnant without any complications and very quickly too. I had been diagnosed with mild PCOS a few years earlier and had spent most of my teens and twenties with menstrual issues and often wondered if I would ever be able to get pregnant. I know that following the Body Ecology Diet, working with functional doctors, seeing my chiropractor  for nutritional therapy, and going to acupuncture made a huge difference going into this process. Getting my health back definitely is something I'm grateful for and what I attribute my pregnancy success too…

Healing through Grief

It's been a long time since I've written. A lot of that had to do with a very busy work schedule and some new business ventures. I am so grateful for all the positive feedback I've gotten recently about this blog and I was reminded how much this blog helped me when I was struggling with my health. 4 years later I am finding myself in a place where I feel like I need to go back to my roots and start over.

2016 was a whirlwind of a year. January brought the unexpected surprise of a full-time teaching position at Monmouth University. I was so excited about getting to teach dance full-time at the college level but because it was such an unexpected surprise I was still teaching for 2 private studios 10 hours a week and I was in the process of launching a new lifestyle program for dancers. Talk about  a lot going on! While I stayed true to the BED principles, I had let some sugar creep back into my life and honestly all the stress I was feeling made me crave it more. Once summer…

The Truth About My Journey With The Body Ecology Diet

It's been a really long time since I've posted here. Some of it was because life's been very busy. A lot of it has been because I've been afraid. I'm afraid of disappointing you, my tried and true readers. I've received so many wonderful messages over the last 3 years since starting the Body Ecology Diet that I'm an inspiration and that my blog has helped you to stay on track and commit to your health. I was afraid that if I wrote that I've been struggling lately that you would be disappointed. I haven't abandoned my beliefs about the wonders of this lifestyle at all. In fact I believe in it 100%. After my wedding 2 1/2 months ago, I had a lot of emotional baggage come up. I'm so happy in my marriage and have the best husband in the world but I no longer have the distraction of wedding planning to keep me distracted from really dealing with my issues; issues that go beyond food. You see Body Ecology taught me that this whole adventure is a mind/…